February 2024, an ordinary Saturday night. 5 mates, a beat-up sofa, a pack of local lagers. The fridge's magnetic opener dies on the 3rd beer. We look for another. Nothing. We end up opening bottles with a spoon, a lighter, and — peak creativity — the crossbar of a folding chair.
That's when a mate, who'd spent the day tinkering on something in the garage, brings back a zinc prototype. Hollow tube, salvaged spring, metal tip. He sets the cap on it. He presses. PCHHHIT. The cap does a somersault and lands on the TV.
"Bro, you've got a patent to file right there."
— Kevin, in prophet mode, 10:47pm
We all laughed. Except the following week he comes back with 3 improved prototypes. Then 10. Then a patent. Then a name: MortierBière, because it uncaps like a construction mortar blows up old slabs.
An honest little clarification
The very first prototype was zinc — hence the patent joke. But going into production, we made a deliberate choice: the product you receive is reinforced ABS plastic, not metal.
Why? Because:
- →120 g vs 340 g. Easier to handle, easier to ship, so free shipping without ruining us.
- →Unbreakable. Metal dents, ABS bounces. You can leave it on the table, drop it, lend it to your drunk brother-in-law.
- →€34.99 (sale — regular price €59.99). A pressure-cast zinc tube costs a fortune to make in small runs. ABS = we keep a fair price.
There you go. We'd rather tell you to your face than have you unbox expecting metal. It's plastic. Tough, designed in France, built to last 30 years — but plastic.
Why not AliExpress?
Good question. The real answer: on AliExpress you wait 5 weeks for something that reeks of plastic, with a manual in Mandarin and a support desk that replies "sorry sir, package lost in container".
Us: stock in France, shipped within 48h, support that replies in your language, and if you don't like it you've got 14 days to send it back. No questions, no debate.
Our promise, in short
- →One product, done right. Not a shop of 400 vaguely tested gadgets.
- →Pure, hard mechanics. Reinforced ABS + spring, no battery, no Bluetooth, no app to update. It has to work in 30 years.
- →Human support. Email contact@mortierbiere.fr and you reach the team directly. Not a chatbot.
- →Honest margin. €34.99 is our fair price: enough to live on, not to rip you off. Temporarily on sale at -42% because you did well to stumble onto us today.
PS: yes, the living-room TV survived. The cap is still stuck behind it — we left it there as a tribute.