Cheesy Christmas gifts: 12 ideas that get a laugh (and actually get used)

You drew your brother-in-law's name, or the uncle who punctuates every family meal with a joke everyone knows by heart. So you're after a cheesy Christmas gift (what the French lovingly call a cadeau beauf): the kind of gift that makes half the table roll its eyes and the other half burst out laughing. Good news: it's an art, and it follows one simple rule: you laugh with him, never at him. Here are 12 ideas in three families (the gag, the useful, the drinks-time), all chosen so he adopts them instead of banishing them to the attic on 26 December.

In short: the best cheesy gift is something he'll show off proudly and use at the next barbecue. For a guaranteed reaction under the tree, go for a show-off bottle opener: the Beer Mortar that launches the cap into the air, the pistol-shaped Capgun or, for the Sunday golfer, Le 19e Trou.

What makes a good cheesy gift?

A good cheesy gift is openly kitsch but genuinely useful. The kitsch gets the laugh when it's unwrapped; the usefulness means it comes out again afterwards. Get it wrong and it becomes a mocking object that offends; get it right and it becomes a cult object passed from one family party to the next. Three questions to aim well:

• Can he laugh at himself? The uncle who proudly wears his Hawaiian shirt on Christmas Eve will love it. The one who takes offence easily will prefer the "useful" category.
• Where does he spend his weekends? Barbecue, pétanque, camping, the sofa in front of the match: the gift should fit into that setting.
• Will he use it in front of people? A successful cheesy gift is one you show off. That's the whole point.

"Gag" cheesy gifts: a guaranteed laugh at unwrapping

The family of gifts that trigger giggles as soon as the paper tears. Pick good quality: a gag that breaks after two days stops being funny.

1. 1The deluxe ugly Christmas jumper: raised reindeer, pompoms, maybe even little lights. He'll wear it every 24 December until the end of time, which is exactly the point.
2. 2The barbecue apron with a slogan: "I'm the chef", "Do not disturb the grill master". Simple, useful, and it says out loud what he's thinking.
3. 3Socks with improbable patterns: fir trees, sausages, beer steins. The cheesy gift par excellence, as long as they're comfortable.
4. 4The flowery shirt for summer barbecues: given in December, it books a date for sunny days. A guaranteed "bring on July" effect.

"Useful" cheesy gifts: funny, but he'll keep them

For the practical brother-in-law: gifts that look like jokes but end up in the car boot, ready for action.

1. 1The barbecue king kit: good tongs, a meat thermometer, a grill brush. Add a matching cap for the full cheesy touch.
2. 2The camping chair with cup holder: the official throne of picnics, touchline matches and evenings at the bottom of the garden.
3. 3A leisure pétanque set in its carry bag, with a tape measure to settle disputes. Arguments over "who's closest" included free of charge.
4. 4The cool bag to carry the picnic supplies (and a few bottles of water, too). Less funny on paper, but he'll thank you at the first barbecue.

"Drinks-time" cheesy gifts: the show on the table

This is where the cheesy gift becomes a proper party piece. The idea isn't to drink more, but to turn opening a bottle into a little act that makes the whole table laugh.

1. 1**The Beer Mortar**: the rocket bottle opener that sends the cap skywards with a loud PCHHHIT. The kind of showpiece that comes out at the end of the meal and that everyone wants to try. The ultimate cheesy gift, in the best sense of the word.
2. 2**The Capgun**: the pistol bottle opener that launches the cap with a squeeze of the trigger. The cowboy of Christmas Eve, as long as he aims at the garden and never at a guest. Torn between the two? Our article pistol or mortar bottle opener compares them.
3. 3Le 19e Trou**: for the golfing uncle, the golf bottle opener where a little articulated golfer putts the cap straight into the hole. Perfect for the man who recounts his round at every meal.
4. 4**The Capblast**: the lever bottle opener that pops the cap off with one sharp move. Compact, it slips into a pocket or hooks onto a key ring: the discreet version for the always-equipped uncle.

You'll notice we deliberately left out the famous straw helmet and other "drink faster" gadgets: we'd rather have a brother-in-law who savours his drink and remembers his evening. For more objects in the same spirit, see our selection of unusual bottle openers.

How to give a cheesy gift without offending anyone

• Own the tongue-in-cheek: a little note like "For the only man who can wear this with style" changes everything. You're celebrating his character, not mocking him.
• Add something useful: a gag paired with a real object (the apron + the tongs, the jumper + a good barbecue cookbook) shows you've thought about it.
• Think about the unwrapping moment: a cheesy gift gets opened in front of everyone. It's the ideal gift to liven up present time under the tree.
• For a colleague, keep to light gags and check out our Secret Santa gift ideas for men.

And if your favourite cheesy uncle is also your father, brother or 60-year-old relative, our guide to Christmas gift ideas for men by age has more ideas. To compare bottle openers (effect, size, handling), head to our bottle opener comparison.

Two safety rules, cheesy or not: a launched cap has sharp edges, so never aim at a person, an animal or a face, and keep these objects out of children's reach. As for the beer, enjoy it at your own pace, with water on the side. Alcohol abuse is dangerous for your health; please drink responsibly.

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